hmmmm

My Goodness! I'm starting to wonder if I'm bipolar! Things were going great...actually, things are still "going" pretty darn well...but I FEEL miserable! I'm down...cranky...irritable!

I've really been paying attention to my "mood swings" lately and think I need to take the next step and keep a calendar. Mark good days and bad days and see if there's a cycle to it. I'd like to say it's hormonal, and I CAN guarantee a big emotional shift monthly, but it seems that isn't the only time I shift. I REALLY don't want to go on meds, but if my own efforts don't start to pay off soon, I'll have to have a talk with the doc!

Well, being self aware has helped me keep my mouth in check! I don't automatically jump down someones throat and blame them for the way I'm feeling. That's progress!

WW's is going well. Had a splurge day yesterday and still feel yucky today. I get less and less afraid of the occasional splurge day now. If I had one in the past, I'd be afraid I'd start the cycle of gaining weight back. But today, I'm here, eating my yogurt, knowing it will be a good day on program.

I guess I don't do WW to the "t"...pretty darn close tho! There ARE days I don't track! I just eat what I want and in the quantity I want. Those days are RARE...maybe once a month. So far I'm averaging 2.3 pounds per week...so I don't think it's hurting me. See, what I'm trying to keep in mind is "How do skinny people eat?". My best friend is VERY thin! And she generally eats small portions a few times per day...and once in a while...she'll go out and have a splurge! She doesn't really give it much thought...it's just how she eats. So, I'm seriously trying to "mimic" her approach to food to some degree.

I think the monthly splurges are good for me for a number of reasons. 1) It keeps my body guessing. My body never thinks it's being underfed because I make darn sure it gets a good stuffing every once in a blue moon. 2) For my mental health! After weeks on program, tracking, tracking, tracking...every bite...every morsel....I start to go a little nutzo! By the end of splurge day I am only TOO thankful for WW and am only too happy to track again and stick to program! 3) Just cuz I wanna!!! Yes, I got fat by eating whatever I wanted, whenever I wanted it, in any quantity I wanted! The difference here is...I only do this on rare occasion now. This is working for me...and until it no longer works, I ain't gonna fix it!

I don't recommend this to others...because many others aren't to a point in their lives where they can stop once they start! I was never at that point before now.

Well, the next splurge is already scheduled for next month...I'm going to San Antonio with my husband. Never been there before and I'm gonna have some AUTHENTIC TEX-MEX! So...I will stay the course until that time!!